Jealousy ruins lives

About a year ago, I started going out with a very lovely woman. I’d met her on February 14th (St Valentines Day!) on line, but we only met up as friends at first, before growing increasingly to love each other. The more I saw her, the more I fell in love with her, and she felt the same way about me.

Green-eyed monster emerges

Last July, my ex-girlfriend came up to get some LP records that she’d left at my flat. She had no interest in getting a turntable, but her new boyfriend did, so she came to get them back. We were still good friends, though no more than that. We had a pleasant afternoon before she went home. Of course I told my new girlfriend about this. She instantly became very jealous. I didn’t have to tell her, but I did. Honest to a fault, that’s my problem I guess.

And again…

In August my girlfriend went on holiday for a week, and I met a new friend on line. She had been living in Malta (where my dad comes from, but I hadn’t been there for a while) and was going back the following week. On the spur of the moment, we decided to have a drink on the Thursday after work. I told her right off that I had a girlfriend, was not interested in romance/sex, she made it clear that neither was she. We had a few drinks then went our separate ways, but in the process became good friends.

Of course I told my girlfriend about it, again she got extremely jealous, the problem being that I told her afterwards. OK, in future I’ll tell her in advance, not a problem. Over the next few days she asked me a number of questions all of which I answered honestly and instantly, but she was convinced she’d wheedled stuff out of me that I didn’t want to tell her. Why, there was nothing I was ashamed to tell her, and if I’d wanted to keep it a secret, I didn’t have to tell her anything in the first place, did I?

Invitation and Holiday

My friend returned to Malta and invited us over (me and girlfriend). She said I could come before Christmas alone if GF couldn’t make it but I declined. She said it would make no difference either way I was in the spare room, but I told her that I would not come on my own. In the end, we both went over for the last 2 weeks in March.

However, my friend had developed a serious drink problem by then, and on the Friday had fallen over drunk in the street, crashing down on her head. My GF tried to give first aid, and said the wound was serious and she could be concussed, but my friend refused advice and help and got increasingly nasty, resulting in her asking my GF to leave. I left too of course, and we returned to the UK.


We decided to see out the holiday together, and arranged to spend 3 nights in Brighton. The Wednesday (yesterday) was going beautifully, we went for a meal in the evening, when, out of the blue, she brought up the fact that I’d be coming here for the PCS Conference in May. She wanted to know if I’d take the opportunity to “see” (i.e., have sex with) other women. I said of course not, not interested. From there the conversation went back to August last year, and how I’d sneaked off with another woman when she was on holiday, and I was accused of lying because I couldn’t remember precisely when I’d met her on line prior to meeting her for the drink, and “came up with a different story” (actually it was just that I couldn’t place the day we’d met on line but last year I was able to tell her more precisely).


So this morning she took off and left me here. Jealousy is an evil thing. When you are consumed by it, you become irrational and actually drive away the very thing that you want. She ended our relationship because she cannot deal with the jealousy and it’s too late to change at her age. I’m posting this because I need to get it off my chest, and to make the point that jealousy does no-one any good, it just ruins your own life and that of others affected.


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